Yup, it’s that time again, This is a Thing is back with another treat. This week it’s The Horse Head Mask. It’s hard not to simply write “what the fuck” and hit publish. I’m sure everyone has at least one of these in their closet right? Who doesn’t feel the urge from time to time to throw on a horse head mask and walk around doing, you know, horse stuff?
This thing is seriously creeping me out though, I am waiting to put the images in this article until I’m done writing it so I don’t have to keep looking at them. I’m racking my brain as to why someone would want this. I mean $19.99 for a realistic horse head is a steal, but I’m coming up short on uses for it. I’m starting a list, as I come up with things over the weekend I’ll list them here and see what accrues before publish date. I’ll probably ask Twitter and Facebook as well, see if some crowd sourcing will come up with a decent reason to buy this godawful looking thing.
Here is my list of uses for the Horse Head Mask:
- To scare small children.
- To convince close relatives that you have gone clinically insane.
- Couldn’t come up with a real Halloween costume.
- You are a furry (see also, the second point).
- You want to give your significant other a reason to dump your ass.
- ThinkGeek has shown that they are great for lonely people who want to make music videos.
- They are great for making internet memes.
- Horse trainers might use them to really “get into the head” of their horses.
- Spice up your sex life by bringing horseplay into the bedroom.
None of those are really a good reason to buy something like a realistic horse head mask, but perhaps Twitter and Facebook can help me find the answers I am looking for…
- Joshua Bentley - Be terrified by it.
- Dustin Snyder - Haunt the Godfather.
- Mike Weem - I would set it over my desk at work, allowing it to silently judge me…
- Rusty D. Jinx - Put that on with a suit of armor, then do the grocery shopping.
- Kevin Hyatt - Drive thru.
- Adam Parker - Put it in the bed of my enemy so that he would wake up and scream, knowing that I am the true Godfather.
- Allen Tiberius Gladfelter - I would put it in Adam Parker’s bed, for stealing my idea first.
- Matthew Kent Tucker - I’d probably shoot a music video with James Van Der Beek.
- Hilary Preston - you need unicorn horns and glitter for the van der beek vid.
- Jerry LeNeave - I saw someone get their wedding photos taken where the entire wedding party was wearing those.
After all these great ideas I’m still stuck in “What the fuck?” land. I’m sure some fun has been had with these creepy looking things, mostly in Japan from what I have been told, but I’m still gonna put this in the category of This is a Thing and I really think it shouldn’t be.